If you’ve ever woken up tired — like deep-in-your-bones, can-someone-please-pause-life tired — before your feet even hit the floor… congratulations, you’re likely suffering from the unofficial women’s plague: decision fatigue.
And no, it’s not just “what to wear” or “what’s for breakfast.”
It’s the 100 micro-decisions we make before 9am, often without even realising it:
-
Is there milk left?
-
Did I reply to that message?
-
Should I book that appointment?
-
Can I squeeze in a workout?
-
Do I wear the cute outfit or the practical one?
-
Was that noise the dog? The bin? Or my anxiety coming to say good morning?
-
Do I have time to wash my hair, or is dry shampoo my entire personality today?
Women don’t start the day at 0%.
We start at –37%, carrying yesterday’s emotional invoice plus today’s mental admin.
And decision fatigue hits us harder because:
1. We’re managing everyone’s everything.
Birthdays. School forms. Work deadlines. Friendship upkeep. Family logistics. Meal planning. The group chat. The other group chat.
Women are the unofficial Chief Operating Officers of life — except we don’t get a salary, a PA, or catered board meetings.
2. We’re expected to “just handle it.”
No one says it directly… but they act like it’s our superpower.
Spoiler: it’s not a superpower. Its social conditioning wrapped in glitter.
3. We anticipate problems before they happen.
Which means our brains never clock off.
We’re running constant risk assessments while simultaneously packing lunch and remembering which child hates grapes this week.
4. Our decisions factor in emotional consequences.
Men often get to ask, “What’s the best option?”
Women ask, “What’s the best option that won’t upset anyone, create tension, inconvenience people, or launch World War III?”
Different sport. Different scoreboard. Different exhaustion.
By lunchtime, your brain feels like an overheated laptop with 42 tabs open, 3 frozen, and one playing mystery audio you can’t locate.
And here’s the truth: fixing decision fatigue isn’t about being “more organised” or “finding a better routine.”
It’s about reducing the emotional labour disguised as logistics.
Your brain wasn’t designed to operate like a 24/7 emergency response centre.
So if you’re tired before you even begin?
It’s not laziness.
It’s not a lack of motivation.
It’s cognitive overload.
Cognitive overload: when your brain is juggling more tasks, emotions, decisions, and expectations than any human can realistically process — and it hits “system error.”
You’re not broken.
You’re burnt out.
And honestly? You’re doing far more than anyone gives you credit for.
How to reduce decision fatigue (without becoming a colour-coded spreadsheet person)
Here’s the good news: you don’t need to reinvent your entire life to feel less fried. You just need to remove the decisions that don’t deserve your energy — so you can save your brain for the stuff that actually matters.
Think of this as your mental load detox.
1. Create ‘defaults’ so your brain stops overworking
Defaults are pre-made decisions you don’t have to think about every day.
Think:
-
The go-to breakfast.
-
The three outfits that always work.
-
The “if in doubt, dry shampoo and a bun” beauty protocol.
-
The boundary script you use every time someone asks you for something you don’t have capacity for.
Defaults turn 20 tiny decisions into 0 — which is clinically delicious for your brain.
2. Use micro-routines (not those terrifying 45-step morning rituals)
You don’t need sunrise journaling, a 10km run, oil pulling, meditation, and a smoothie made of unicorn tears.
You need micro-routines — tiny, repeatable steps that calm your brain.
Examples:
-
Phone goes on the charger in another room.
-
Clothes chosen the night before.
-
Water bottle filled before bed.
-
Keys live in one sacred location (and everyone in the house must honour The Key Shrine).
Micro-routines reduce chaos. Chaos reduction reduces decisions. Decisions reduced = energy restored.
3. Stop carrying other people’s mental admin
This is where we get feral.
You are not:
-
the reminder service,
-
the finder of lost items,
-
the emotional regulator,
-
the walking Google Calendar of birthdays,
-
nor the designated “mum” of work, friendship groups, or family gatherings.
If someone in your life can do something themselves, let them.
Will they complain? Possibly.
Will they survive? Absolutely.
This is called redistributing the mental load, also known as:
“I’m no longer doing six people’s jobs just because I’m good at it.”
[IMAGE ABOVE: Me in the midst of life and corporate chaos while my then colleagues laughed at me for my old school paper-based desk planner... but hey, if it reduces the load, it reduces the load!]
4. Limit your decision bandwidth to what actually matters
Not every decision needs your emotional energy.
Start asking:
“Does this choice really deserve my brain space?”
If the answer is no:
-
Choose the quickest option.
-
Choose the easiest option.
-
Choose the least annoying option.
-
Or choose “I don’t care enough to decide” and let someone else handle it.
This is called strategic under-caring, and it is a holy, holy practice.
5. Build ‘cognitive buffer zones’
You need breathing room between responsibilities — not because you’re fragile, but because you’re HUMAN.
Try:
-
10 minutes in the car before going inside.
-
A no-talking rule before coffee.
-
A “don’t ask me questions while I’m horizontal” agreement.
-
Two minutes of silence before opening emails.
Buffer zones prevent emotional whiplash — which is a silent killer of mental clarity.
6. Outsource like a woman who values her time
If you can outsource something — even occasionally — do it without guilt.
Cleaning, childcare, meal kits, grocery delivery, dog washing, life admin tasks…
These aren’t luxuries. They’re load-lighteners.
And no, this doesn’t make you “lazy.”
It makes you someone who understands that time is a resource, not a side quest.
Do you know how many times I've declared that I would outsource my entire life if I could get away with it? Too many times to bother counting!
7. Remove the decisions you don’t actually need
Here are decisions women can officially stop making:
-
Whether you’re “allowed” to rest.
-
Whether saying no is rude.
-
Whether you need to justify your boundaries.
-
Whether someone will be upset if you prioritise yourself.
-
Whether dry shampoo counts as washing your hair (it absolutely does).
Congratulations — you just saved 10% battery.
8. Build a support crew (not just a group chat)
Find women who:
-
get you
-
validate your reality
-
and don’t treat burnout like a personality flaw.
This is your cognitive safety net.
Bonus points if they also send memes, hold space for meltdowns, and celebrate the tiny wins like remembering to hydrate.
9. Replace self-criticism with self-compassion
Decision fatigue makes you slower, foggier and more emotional — because your brain is overclocked.
You don’t need tougher discipline.
You need kinder expectations.
When you catch yourself thinking:
“Why am I like this?”
Try: “Of course I’m overwhelmed — look at what I’m carrying.”
This shift alone can unclench half your nervous system.
The bottom line
You’re not failing.
You’re not disorganised.
You’re not “too emotional” or “too sensitive.”
You’re a woman functioning in a world that treats endless mental labour as your side hustle.
Decision fatigue isn’t a personal flaw — it’s a symptom of a system built on women doing more, feeling more, and carrying more.
But once you understand it?
You can outsmart it.
And babe… you deserve a life with fewer decisions, more peace and significantly less dry shampoo.