Let’s be honest, having it all together is the biggest scam EVER sold to women — right up there with low-rise jeans and multi-level marketing boss babe energy!
Somewhere along the way, society decided we should be:
- polished
- calm
- organised
- nurturing
- ambitious
- emotionally stable
- socially available and still somehow: cool, funny, hydrated, moisturised, and up-to-date on the group chat drama.
Meanwhile, most of us are one minor inconvenience away from crying in the Woolies carpark.
And yet… we perform.
We smile.
We say: “I’m fine.”
We carry the mental load of a small nation.
We power through, pretending our bra isn’t cutting into our soul and our brain isn’t buffering like a 2003 modem.
But here’s the plot twist:
Women are finally rejecting the performance.
We’re choosing honesty over perfection, humour over façade, connection over comparison.
Having it all together is not the goal anymore.
Having enough capacity to survive the day and feel like yourself? That's the real victory!
[IMAGE ABOVE: This is me, Louise Hughes. On my way back to Brisbane after a glorious week in Victoria for a family wedding. Tired. Over-peopled. Nowhere near caffeinated enough. Essentially a human error message in clothing.]
The new standard isn’t perfection — it’s realism.
It’s showing up messy.
It’s admitting you’re tired.
It’s asking for help.
It’s knowing that chaos doesn’t mean you’re failing — it means you’re human.
Women are done pretending.
And honestly?
It’s about time.
Why I started Caffeinate to Motivative
Because I’m tired.
I’m over the bullshit.
I’m done working in places where Executive egos outrank meaningful outcomes.
I’ve spent the better part of three decades trying to be the perfect professional, wife, daughter, sister, friend — all while managing a cocktail of chronic health issues and pretending everything was fine.
Then I hit 40, life threw a few grenades, COVID entered stage left… and I finally called “time out.”
Now my journey is about learning to:
- Do more things that lift and feed my soul
- Surround myself with people who feel like home and challenge me in the best ways
- Set boundaries (and more importantly, figure out which boundaries I ACTUALLY need to set)
- Take care of my health and my mind — properly
- Be fully, unapologetically myself without worrying if I’m “too much” (spoiler: if my energy is “too much,” they’re simply not my people)Work
- Be present
- Find peace in the chaos.
Make no mistake: this is not a linear journey — and honestly, nothing in life that matters ever is. That squiggly, chaotic line running through every part of our lives is exactly why Caffeinate to Motivate exists.
[IMAGE ABOVE: My many faces of burnout... its not pretty]
How I started slowing my roll
Short answer?
I had a meltdown so spectacular it could have had its own theme music.
But once the emotional fireworks stopped, I knew I needed help — real, grounded help to find my calm again. I’ve always believed everyone deserves access to a psychologist to help navigate the messiness of being human.
Not everyone can afford that, though.
I was lucky. I’d already been working with a psychologist before everything exploded, and that made the aftermath 100,000 times easier to crawl through without combusting.
If therapy isn’t accessible to you right now, here are some starting points to help you figure out where you are — and where you want to go:
1. Spark joy (real joy, not “fold your socks” joy)
Do the things that make you feel light inside.
It might be:
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telling the kids to bugger off for 30 minutes while you sit on the verandah with your book, the sun on your face, and a criminally large coffee
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wandering your home city aimlessly like a tourist
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playing like you’re a child again
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decluttering your house Marie-Kondo-style and laughing while you're hurling your junk into the dump pit (my personal favourite — terrible for the planet, excellent for the soul)
Whatever sparks joy for you, there is zero judgement here at Caffeinate to Motivate. We just want you smiling.
[IMAGE ABOVE: A couple of years ago, I did this in a remote cabin in the Hunter Valley. I sat in a bathtub on a verandah, read a book, drank wine, listened to the birds and watched a storm roll in... this is now my benchmark for joy.]
2. Journal (but only when it helps, not when it hurts)
Journalling can feel like another thing on the to-do list, so don’t force it. But when you ARE ready?
This is where your life starts making sense.
No rules. No structure.
Just open a notebook and let the nonsense pour out — the good, the bad, the chaotic, the mundane.
This is where you’ll spot what’s helping you, what’s hurting you, and what needs to change. It’s also the safest place to release all the pent-up bullshit clinging to your soul like barnacles.
3. Time out (the grown-up kind)
Society told us productivity equals survival.
That if we’re not busy 24/7, we’re failing.
But here's the good news about that particular misnomer:
Rest IS productive.
Time out is how you recharge your batteries so you can function like the magical, multitasking powerhouse you are — you can't function if your batteries are dead. At that point you're literally a powerless zombie.
4. Exercise (calm down, I don’t mean a marathon)
For some people, exercise sparks joy.
For others (me), it sparks mild resentment.
But here’s the deal: movement recharges your physical AND mental batteries. It helps your body work better, your brain think better, and your stress scream less.
Exercise can be:
- a gentle walk
- yoga
- slow laps in the pool
- dancing around the kitchen in your pyjamas.
You don’t need to be sporty. You just need to move.
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5. Eat well (without turning it into a second job)
There are a million resources out there, but here’s the basics:
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See your GP and get your bloods checked.
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Find out what nutrients you’re low in.
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Eat as much fresh food as possible.
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And if you don’t feel like eating? Start with protein — it’s the building block for everything your body needs to function.
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Nourish your body like it’s the only one you’ve got… because it is.